AUSSIE LEGENDS

This blog entry is a collection of the biggest legends we met while in Australia. Due to the unavailability of our camcorder footage until very recently we couldn't put this clip up earlier but thought it was too good to leave out any longer. These are three blokes we met along the way and all are absolute charachters. We give 'Turbo' the number one Aussie legend spot. Check them out for a good laugh!

DAY 53 - MENG LA TO KUNMING

We spotted this farmer surveying his land on a windy road to Kunming

We were up early to go back and get our the license plates and Dave's Chinese drivers licence. After waiting at the station for about half an hour, a one armed police chief emerged to tell us that the car had to pass a roadworthiness test. We reckon he just wanted a go in the Hummer but agreed regardless, lucky its an automatic car. The car passed with flying colours and we were finally on our way.

Not long out of Meng La the roads took a serious turn for the worse. These were by far the worst curving roads we had seen in our lives and to add insult to injury there a nearly completed expressway in constant view as we weaved our way along the mountainside. Dave had to be in full alert at every bend as crazy truck and bus drivers who seemed to have complete disregard for their own lives and others on the road drove right in the middle of the road, cutting off the road at corners. There was therefore a fine line between dodging them and keeping away from an acute 6foot high drainage verge. This ordeal ended up being a 13 hour slog which Dave endured the whole way to Kunming while the lads sat back and enjoyed 6 hour long episodes of Sopranos. Chuck wasn't feeling well all day and with about about 3 hours to go, he hit the emergency exit button and had the first of 2 chunders! This is a milestone as the first puke on the road so far.


Finally for the last hour of the slog, we were all relieved to hit a two-lane expressway but coming into Kunming, Dave suddenly had to swerve as out of nowhere came an overturned truck in the middle of the road directly in front of us. We've seen this a few times in China, but we think this had just occurred. Arriving at 4.30am, Dave claimed that this was the most punishing drive of his life. Our guide Jason then calmly informed him that much worse road conditions lay ahead in the Himalayas. Needless to say we all went straight to bed in a cheap hotel in the city centre.

DAY 52 - LUANG NAMTHA TO MENG LA, CHINA

The Chinese flag at Mohan

We got up early and hit the road to the Chinese border at Mohan. The border ordeals are becoming hilarious at this stage. Things went smoothly enough with our passports on the Laos side but to our amusement, everyone had to leave the car and walk a mere 10 metres across the border into no mans land while Dave crept through in the Hummer. Then we just jumped back in the Hummer and drove on not even bothering dispute this useless formality.

The Chinese side of the border was a different ball game. On approach to Mohan you immediately notice the concrete development in complete contrast to the straw Laotian huts only a stones throw away on the other side of the border. It's become standard for us to film border crossings but on this occasion were immediately told to put the camera away, despite the fact that only a few minutes later the same border officials were taking photos of themselves with Hummer. We were greeted by Jason, our obligatory Chinese guide and were relieved to find out he was our age. The need to have a tour guide with us at all times during our Chinese leg is just one of the many stringent regulations when driving a foreign vehicle through China. We also need to get a Chinese license plate for the vehicle and Dave was required to obtain a Chinese drivers license and insurance. Luckily, Jason had organized all of this in advance. This would have been impossible for us to do as none of us have a hint of Mandarin or local knowledge with these matters.

Jason, our new guide with Rhys

After having our Visas checked and passports stamped, the head of customs thoroughly inspected our car and sent us on our way. Our first port of call was to the licensing office in nearby Meng La where the registration plate and driver's license were to be organized. As expected a large Chinese manufactured spanner was put deep in the works and we couldn't get the documents organized until the next day so we were forced to stay in Meng La for the evening. We found a cheap hotel, grabbed our first Chinese dinner and went to bed, only to be woken up at one in the morning with a phonecall to our room from a woman speaking in Chinese. We presumed this was reception but Jason told us the next day that's its common for prostitutes to call every room in Chinese hotels late at night to offer their services!

DAY 51 - LUANG NAMTHA DAY 2

JUNGLE TREK TO HILL TRIBE

Our Native Guide with the dyed teeth shows us the way

We were up at 8am to meet Mai, our trekking guide for the day. He told us we were going to embark on a 6 hour jungle trek to visit a remote Hill Tribe. After a 45 minute drive we were dropped off at our starting point and met by another native hill tribesman. Off we set deep into the jungle and were introduced to the native flora used by the hill tribe as food and medicine. There were plants to treat stomach illnesses, sinus problems and malaria. We found hard to comprehend how these people could have first established the benefits of these plants for particular illnesses, a lot of trial and error we presume!

We noticed our native tribesman chewing something all day and hocking up massive red spits every few minutes. On closer inspection his teeth were all red and it looked like he had just done a Dracula on someones neck. Mai explained that this was a native chewing drug taken from certain bark, leaves and the ash of a particular burnt plant. Rhys and Dave plucked up the courage to give it a go and a few chews and red spits later, the taste was described as wooden flavoured toothpaste, in other words disgusting! Check the video below for the day's highlights.

We took a break for lunch in a makeshift hut in the middle of the jungle where Mai served lunch on plates created for everyone from local leaves. We ate native hill tribe dishes including 'SA' a minced pork dish which was eaten using our hands by shaping sticky rice like a spoon.

After lunch we trekked on and in a few hours we eventually reached the hill tribe on top of a mountain. It is hard for us to imagine that these people exist in an environment so far removed from everything and with no electricity, running water or communications. We were all brought to a locals hut and were made drink two shots each of the locally brewed Laos equivalent of Irish Poitín. We had a good laugh playing with some of the local kids who came in their droves to say 'Sawat Di' or hello to us.

Fintan with the 'Joust House' in the Background

Another interesting facet of hill tribe life was what we dubbed the 'joust house'. These are tiny huts elevated 20 feet in the air but still connected by a stairway to the main hut. We wondered what the purpose of these were and Mai explained to us that local tradition dictates that its taboo for unmarried couples to have sex in the main family hut as it angered the house spirit. So they have developed these elevated huts for the sole purpose of allowing unmarried couples to get busy.

A local kid carries his baby brother

We left the hill tribe for our pick up destination and were waved off by a group of local kids. Mai explained to us that there is a new road being built to this hill tribe. Laotian tribes are under threat from extinction due to the creation of rubber plantations bought from them for as little as 1 US dollar a hectare by predominantly Chinese investors with a huge need for raw materials to fuel the Asian Tiger's growth. On the way home to Luang Nam Tha, we stopped at the local stupa which had been recreated brick by brick after it was bombed during the Vietnam War. Laos was the most bombed country during the Vietnam War and it's airport served as hub for opium smuggling in this region.

The boys beside the old bombed Stupa in Luang Namtha

We went for a nice dinner in the Boat landing and hit the sack early in preparation for the Chinese border tomorrow.

DAY 51 SLIDESHOW

DAY 50 - CHANG KONG TO LUANG NAMTHA

CRAZYJOURNEY ARRIVES IN LAOS

The Hummer touches down on Laos soil.

We were up early to catch the first river barge across the Mekong which acts as the border into Laos. After another ordeal with customs and emigration officials over the Carnet, we finally boarded a river barge and ten minutes later we were in Laos. After driving for about 5 minutes, Dave finally realized that he was driving on the wrong side of the road when a girl on moped was coming straight at him. The historic French influence on Laos means that we now drive on the right hand side which suits the Hummer's left hand drive orientation perfectly.

Before we could go anywhere we had to check in with immigration. There were absolutely no formalities with the Hummer which was a nice change from the usual red tape so all we had to do was get our own personal visas. On the way back to the Hummer in search of water we found one of the local shops selling an interesting concoction of dead cobras bottled in alcohol. Red Bull eat your heart out!

Two Laos woman carrying firewood pass the car

Hitting the road towards Luang Namtha, we immediately recognized a contrast in the standard of living between Laos and Thailand and we really felt we were in a third world country. We passed through villages containing nothing but wooden huts. The roads were the worst we've come across by a long way and coming towards villages they were strewn with pigs, cows, hens and wandering semi-clothed children. We had to reduce our speed to avoid them as well as the random holes on the road. In fact, our average speed has plummeted from 120-130kmph in Australia, 90-100kmph in Singapore, Malaysia and Thailand to between 60 and 70kmph in Laos. However, infrastructural development is evident in the construction of a new main road to Luang Nam Tha.

Local makeshift car in Laos. There were hundreds of these!

About a halfway into the 5 hour drive to Luang Namtha, we started ascending into a mountain range with windy roads. Towards the top of the ascent we stopped the car and took in the spectacular sunset.

Sunset over the Laotian Hills

We arrived into Luang Namtha quite late and luckily found a place to stay at the Boat Landing Hostel which was recommended to us by John from Anantara for the eco-tours and hill treks it runs. Before we went to bed Dave, Fintan, Rhys and Walshy booked a hill trek for the next morning. Chuck opted out of the trek since he has already done one and fancied a day of solid Internet use instead.

DAY 50 ROUTE MAP

DAY 49 - GOLDEN TRIANGLE DAY 3 WITH THE ELEPHANTS

IN CAHOOTS WITH THE MAHOUTS!

The boys pose for a photo with the Hummer

It was the earliest start on the trip so far for us, getting up at 6.30am to get a quick breakfast before heading off for our day with the elephants which John Roberts from Anantara Resort had kindly organised. The view over the Golden Triangle was spectacular at that time of morning with a layer of mist covering the valley below us. We knew we would be riding the elephants to some degree but could never have imagined what lay ahead of us for the next 7 hours.

Breakfast of Champions in Anantara

At 7 we met Olivia who works at the sanctuary as well as all the mahouts who are the riders and care takers of their own specific elephant. These guys are paired with their elephant from a very young age and grow up training them. The strong bond between the two is clearly visible and the mahouts are incredibly good at commanding and controlling their elephant with precision. We were then brought to the elephant grazing area and paired off with a mahout who took us onto his elephant for a walk to the elephant riding training area. Below is a video of the day's highlights.

At the training area, we were given a run-down on the different commands to control the elephant and the different techniques to mount and dismount. One mounting technique really demonstrates the intelligence of the animals where they give you a boost up to their back with their leg. After being put through our paces for about two hours, we got to feed and play with some baby elephants.

After doing brunch for an hour, the chaps reconvened for a jolly good session of elephant polo! We weren't expecting this at all and were a bit nervous since none of us had ever touched a polo stick in our lives. We headed down to a small polo pitch and were given four elephants with Mahouts who would steer the elephants during the game. Naturally, being as patriotic as we all are, and Irish team of Dave and Fintan was teamed up against the Aussies of Rhys and Chuck.

Dave and Rhys go head to head

From the off, the Irish dominated with long spells camped down on the Aussie line. After some spectacular one-touch polo by the Irish, they began to run away with it and the game ended in a whitewash 5-0 victory to the boys in green. Needless to say, it will be a long time before the Aussies live this one down!

Jenny the Elephant Parades the Irish Flag after the 5-0 Hammering!

We all needed a cooldown after this Irish 5 goal rout, including the elephants so it was straight down to the Mekong River at full time to bath them. We were fully under the impression that we would all be safely watching from the shore as the elephants were getting a once over in the water but to our surprise, the Mahouts continued straight into the water with us all still on the elephant's backs! Next thing we knew, the elephants were dunking us under the water and spraying us with their trunks. Even though the thought of the elephants chucking us off and squashing us was a bit scary, we all had a great laugh in the end.

The boys go swimming with the elephants

A massive thanks has to go out to John Roberts, the director of elephants and Mark, the manager of the resort for organising our time at Anantara. John is doing sterling work with the Asian Elephant Foundation by setting up a safe haven for abused elephants and those that cannot work. Altogether they look after 27 elephants at the resort. For more information on what they do, visit http://www.helpingelephants.org/ .

We literally took 300 photos of the day with the elephants, so we created a slideshow below so you can look at some of the rest!

After all the elephant activity it was time to leave the Golden Triangle and hit the road for Chang Kong, the border crossing between Thailand and Laos situated on the Mekong River. Its necessary to get a barge across the Mekong River but unfortunately we missed the last barge and ended up spending the night in the small town with the intention of catching the first barge crossing in the morning.

DAY 48 - GOLDEN TRIANGLE DAY 2

The Hummer speeds by the Giant Buddha in The Golden Triangle

We woke up reasonably early today to head down the road and visit the Hall of Opium, a museum which outlines the intriguing history of the drug in an area famed for the harvesting of poppy, the raw input for the substance. Conveniently located next door to our hotel, we were immediately impressed by the scale of investment and effort that had been put into it. We had a laugh upon entry having been charged at a higher rate due to the fact we were foreigners and not Thai.

Hall of Opium Admission Fees

In what promised to be a day that could go one of two ways (Chuck decided he would rather get his tan on at the pool than torture himself in a museum!) we were amazed to find how blissfully ignorant we have been to a whole side of history that ties very closely to the story of ruthless English imperialism. A series of interactive videos and recreations explained many issues such as; the vice-like grip chronic opium addiction had on a huge proportion of Chinese people in the 17th Century, the Opium Wars, the development of the East India trade company, history of drug smuggling, drug lords in the area and the dependence on the English to sell Opium to the Chinese to fund purchases of Tea from India. We left with heads packed with knowledge and a new found respect for an area that has played such a pivotal role in the development of the both the Eastern and Western world.

After the tour of the museum we relaxed for a little while before heading to dinner with John, Mark, Olivia and Amp from the elephant sanctuary at Anantara in a local Thai restaurant on the shore of the Mekong River and close to the town's giant Buddha.

DAY 47 - CHIANG RAI TO GOLDEN TRIANGLE AND ANANTARA RESORT

The boys at the Khun Kon Waterfall near Chiang Rai

Most of the lads got up early to for a short 25 km drive to the Khun Kon waterfall. This was a refreshing way to wake ourselves up with a 1km uphill jungle trek from the car park to the falls. Rhys certainly wasn't the happiest getting up at this hour claiming in his words... 'this is like being in the army mate!' When we finally got there, we all got in for dip under the waterfall. Check video below...

After heading back to the hotel, we got a quick lunch and headed further North to the Golden Triangle where John Roberts, the head of the elephant sanctuary at the Anantara Resort had organised to look after us for two nights during which he plans for us to do some elephant trekking. John had seen our article in the Sydney Morning Herald and kindly organised for us to stay 2 nights at this incredible 5 star resort. When we checked out the website we were blown away by the accommodation that lay ahead of us. Click on the link below for details of what is no doubt the jewel of the Golden Triangle:

http://goldentriangle.anantara.com/

When we eventually got to the resort, we were greeted at reception by two massive water buffalo! Walshy nearly got rammed trying to pet one! We met John who organised to meet us for beers later on that evening. After check in we had a swim in the most amazing pool we've probably ever been in with views of Burma and Laos separated by the Mekong River as a backdrop.

The view from the pool at Anantara Resort overlooking Burma and Laos

Later that evening, some us went for a quick gym followed by a few beers with John and Mark, the resort's manager where we had some interesting conversation about elephants and their trainers locally known as mahoots. We also talked about the elephant polo world cup, held in this resort every year and especially one epic match between a New Zealand All Black Rugby Team and the Thai Ladyboy. Supposedly the Thai LadyBoy team gave them a good run for their money right to the death!

DAY 47 ROUTE MAP

DAY 46 - CHIANG MAI TO CHIANG RAI

Chiang Rai Night Bazaar

Dave had to get up very early to drop Paul off to the airport who is heading off to Ko Phangan on our advise for taste of the madness we all went through during the Christmas and New Year period. Its sad to leave Paul who has made such a positive impact to the trip. But Paul will be with us for a large part of the journey and will be meeting up with us again in Katmandu for the Nepal and Indian leg as well as the glory run for the whole of Europe back to Dublin.

We checked out of our hotel in the afternoon and a had a brief wander around the town catching up on emails before heading off in the evening for a short two hour drive to Chiang Rai.

Arriving in Chiang Rai we were pleasantly surprised by this beautiful and compact town. The city is the capital of the Chiang Rai Province with a population of 40,000 people. It was a change to see many older western people who were on organised tours rather than the backpackers we've become used to. As the gateway to the heart of the golden triangle, the town was packed out with tour buses and 4X4 tours, making the task of finding a cheap hotel more difficult. We eventually found a lovely spot off the main road with secure parking for the Hummer. After dropping our bags in the room we had a nice dinner whose menu gave the Euro price equivalent,which really brought home how cheap it is here.

After dinner we went for a wander around the night bazaar. This market has an array of stalls selling home made items from opium pipes to back scratchers. We called it a night with the intention of getting up early to visit the Khun Kon Waterfall.

DAY 46 ROUTE MAP

DAY 45 - CHIANG MAI DAY 1

Dave, Fintan and Paul at the shooting range

Finto, Paul and Dave got up at 1 to get some lunch and checkout Chiang Mai town while Rhys and Chuck stayed in bed. Chiang Mai is the largest and most culturally significant city in Northern Thailand. The city acts a gateway for travellers into Northern Thailand, Laos and Burma. The heart of the town is confined within a mad-made square canal and has the same hustle and bustle feel to it that we've become used to in Thailand. Driving around town we couldn't help but notice an abundance of middle aged and old western men usually on their own with young Thai ladies. It is evident that sex-tourism is rife in this region and to be honest we found it difficult not to be disturbed by it.

The sighting of a moto-cross rental shop was enough to set Dave's petrol head desires in motion and he decided to get himself a bike for the day. Paul and Fintan followed Dave home in a tuk-tuk which had a sign advertising a shooting range, so we all decided to head there for an hour of 'harmless' fun! The tuk-tuk driver was a great laugh and on the way to the shooting range he was racing Dave's bike and doing wheelies for us at every traffic light. The shooting range was an extension of the local army barracks and as you would expect in Thailand, wasn't very regulated. See video below for highlights.

We all got together in the evening and after a useless dinner in the hotel, we all went to the night bazaar to have a wander. A mate of ours, Walshy who we had previously seen on Ko Phangan came to meet us for a few days and went out with the Aussie boys to a few bars while Dave, Finto and Paul stayed in to get footage together for our first documentary release.

DAY 44 - BANGKOK TO CHIANG MAI

The Hummer gets a well-earned wash!

We were up at 12 after our night in Bed Supperclub to check out of our Hotel. Before hitting the road to Chiang Mai in Northern Thailand we decided it was time to give the Hummer a well and truly deserved wash as he hadn't gotten one since the start of the journey. Conveniently only a block away from the hotel was the best car detailing and valet business in Bangkok, WAC Detailing. These guys had a menu of things to get done bigger than most restaurants and for about a quarter the price of any place in Dublin or Sydney! We chose the full works due to the dire smell inside the car and the layer of scum on the outside. An hour and a bit late the car was like new and it was time to hit the road for a long drive to Chiang Mai.

To our surprise there was a great highway leading directly there and the drive was made short by our pirate stash of all 6 Sopranos seasons on 30 DVDs. Not bad for 2,000 Baht (40 Euro!). We eventually arrived into Chiang Mai at 4.30am with Dave nearly falling asleep at the wheel. Chiang Mai was noticeably cooler and we felt a tiny chill for the first time since leaving Sydney. There'll be plenty more where that came form heading towards the Himalayas!

We eventually found a cheap hotel with a secure car park for the Hummer and went straight to bed.

DAY 44 ROUTE MAP

DAY 43 - BANGKOK DAY 2

Chuck, Rhys and Fintan with the Hummer at the Grand Palace, Bangkok

Dave and Paul were up early to hit a nearby gym for a few hours while the other lads got some rest. We set off in the Hummer late morning for a brief trip back to the Khao San Road so Paul could bring back his fake DVDs that didn't work properly. This wasn't too surprising given the quality of Khao San Road goods.

We all grabbed a quick lunch on Khao San and then legged it off in the Hummer across town in search of some floating markets. Unfortunately this trip was to no avail but we did manage to find a collection of small stalls near the Grand Palace. We all had a good laugh driving through Bangkok, seeing all of the madness it has on offer.

Pantip Plaza, Bangkok

On the way home Chuck and Fintan were dropped off at Thailand's largest electronics mall, the Pantip Plaza near Sukumvit. This vast mall contains hundreds of small electronic stores that sell everything from water-cooled hacker computers to unlocked Apple iPhones. Chuck and Fintan immersed themselves in the chaos in search of a digital camera and eventually found one at a steal for 6,500 Baht (145 Euro), about half the price of the same camera at home.

Bed Nightclub, Bangkok

We all reconvened at the hotel in the evening where Fintan met up with a friend of his from Uni Sam Middlehurst who is working in Bangkok. After a few drinks in the hotel we all headed off to Bed Nightclub for the night. This incredibly stylish club is regarded as one of the top bars in the world and was packed out with Thai and Expat 'Glitterati'. The manager Goy knew about the drive and looked after all of us really well. Check out the club's website: http://www.bedsupperclub.com/